I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
