She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
