I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
