i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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