the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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