guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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