So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
