Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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