i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
