I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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