Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
