My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
