so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
