I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
