haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
