This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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