Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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