wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
