Sry I called you an 8
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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