I can tuck mytits in my pants
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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