I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
