So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
