Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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