Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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