so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
