i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
