At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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