It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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