we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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