I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
