he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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