Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize