great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize