there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
