I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
