i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
