Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
