No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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