Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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