And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
