dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
