I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Randomize
