In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
