I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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