no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize