No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
