I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
