I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
