i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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