How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
