these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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