we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
