like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
