Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
