There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
