He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
