Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just had sex on a roof
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
